Friends or foes?!

I once heard that sharing secrets helps friends grow closer together. I recently discovered that if you do share secrets with "friends" you run the risk of living in fear. For example, I shared with some work friends that I am not so fond of eyeballs. I learned this when I had to dissect a sheep's eye in biology. I cut into the eye, it squirted its contents back at me and down I went. A few days after sharing this with work "friends" I received a text of a dissected cow's eye. EEEEWWWW!!!

Well, I cannot play the victim all the time. This past week at girl's night, a discussion of phobias was going around the table. A friend confided in us that she had a fear of backbones. She cannot tolerate having her back touched or seeing another person's backbone poking through their skin. We all asked questions trying to understand how she lives with this fear and inevitably started in on the jokes just to see her squirm in her seat. It was hilarious from my point of view, but i know all too well how she felt.

The worst is when you tell a friend a secret-secret that you do not want everybody to know and they tell anyway. No I am not talking about gossip. I am talking about an embarassing mishap that you do not mind your friend knowing but do mind others knowing. I mean, is it that far of a stretch of the imagination that when you tell your friend in secret it should stay in secret? Obviously, a friend of mine does not understand this concept.

My secret-secret happened a few years ago when I was getting married. My soon to be mother-in-law gave me a bottle of Alli pills after I had expressed to her that I wanted to lose a little weight before the wedding. She told me to take two capsules before a meal and it would prevent my body from obsorbing 30% of the fat in the meal. She warned me that it could cause some intestinal issues including passing orange "stool", but not to be alarmed. The orange "stool" was actually the fat passing straight through without being obsorbed. What she did not tell me is that you should not take it when you eat fast food or a meal very high in fat which is what the instruction booklet tells you because it could cause anal leakage. The concequences of doing so is why Alli helps you choose healthier meals.

Getting back to the point, I had been taking Alli for a few days at my main meals. One day, I had Guthries and so I took two Alli capsules. That evening, Mark and I were at my apartment watching TV. We were laughing when I felt like I needed to pass gas. Since Mark and I had been together for almost 6 years I felt comfortable enough to not only pass gas in front of him, but to joke around about it with him. While we were laughing, I proceeded to "let one loose" not realizing that just a little bit of force would also help let loose the anal leakage of orange "stool" caused by eating a high fat meal. The smile was immediately wiped from my face at the astonishment of what just happeded! I jumped up to run to the bathroom leaving evidence of my mishap on the couch cushion and a hysterically laughing fiance! Just to be clear, I did not poop my pants! It was the undigested fat the Alli encircled to remove it from my body in a not so flattering way. All Alli users know what I mean. Mark now refers to this incident as my "epic fail."

I reveal this because my "friend" has already told everybody, so why not?! But, with every good story there is always an exaggeration. She calls it my "sharting story." I did not poop my pants!