Monday, June 7, 2010

Just when you think you have heard it all . . .

All of these quotes come from the animal clinic where I work and they are real!

"I am calling to make an appointment for "Lucy." I am her secretary."

"My dog has been coughing for a few weeks and I need to talk to the doctor. I think its from all the cat food he has been eating."

This call came in thirty minutes before closing time. "My dog has been bleeding for the last three weeks and I need to see the doctor right now!"

Owner: "My dog is scratching, but I have never seen a flea on him. Can the doctor look at him?"
Me: "Yes. Are you sure you have not seen a single flea?"
Owner: "Oh, I am sure! He sleeps with me and that would be gross."
Me: "Ok, sure. Are you using flea prevention?"
Owner: "No, but I swear its not fleas. It must be allergies or something."
Me: "Ok, let's let the doctor take a look."
Doctor: "Mrs. Smith, "Buddy" is covered in fleas."

"I do not bathe my dog. She licks herself clean, like a cat"

"I have a question. Can my dog get sick from being around other dogs?"

Doctor: "Miss Jones, your Miniature Dachshund weighed in at 30 pounds today. He needs to weigh closer to 10 pounds."
Owner: "Are you saying my dog is fat because my dog is not fat."
Doctor: "Yes Ma'am, "Charlie" needs to loose about 15-20 pounds . . . "
Owner: "My dog is not fat! My dog does not need to lose weight! He is just fine!"

"My dog needs to have her teeth cleaned? You mean you clean dog's teeth? I have never heard of that. How do you get then to sit still to do that?"

"I need to make an appointment for my cat to see the doctor. I think she was attacked by a Grizzly Bear."

I love my job! It keeps me on my toes!

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